我的记事本

小丑的心声

2009-06-28T15:15:00.006+08:00

我们都知道，在舞台上的小丑带给观众无限的欢笑以及快乐。
他那不平凡的搞笑天分背负着重大的忧伤。
他那厚厚的浓妆就有如戴上了面具，所有的情绪都密密的埋在底下。
观众所看不到的，所不能理解的，也不能亲身体验的。
卸妆之后，他就像你和我，都是普通人，有七情六欲，有喜怒哀乐。
但有别于其他人的是，在他不快乐的时候，有人会同情吗? 有人会感同身受吗？
我想不会吧，大家都会不由自主地觉得他会很快的好起来，他会很乐观，因为它是小丑。
为了保持它那不凡的形象，他只好认着头皮逼出笑容。
长年累月下，他终于闷出病来，但他还是强颜欢笑，为大家带来精彩的表演。
这种精神就是值得我们所敬佩的啊！

2009-06-28T15:15:00.001+08:00

tough times - times of blue..

2009-06-28T14:48:00.004+08:00

everything seems to be going against me..

made alot of mistakes while in camp.. very emo.. im supposed to be monitoring spec but i cant even monitoring myself.. bullshit.. whole load of shit..

supposed to be promoted to be corporal (cpl) on 24th june and realised i couldnt.. reason being my medical status hasnt been confirmed and i have not been given a perm pes status or a further extension of temp pes for 6 mths. medical centre does not see personnel for pes review due to h1n1. i did a stress ecg n result was sent to mmi in mid may.. no answer since.. i really need the money.. maybe bcos i was not borned with a silver spoon. i worried too much, financially.. im only 21.. omg.. i jus sound so old... i wanna study vet degree, but i couldnt, so what's the point of getting 1st in vet science.. im still nowhere..

i've jus sprained my leg last monday.. excruciating pain.. saw a doctor on thurs.. gave me a 2ml tramadol jab.. put me on paracetamol, paracetamol + codeine, and diclofenac.. nth seems to help.. it's still swollen now.. wanna go A&E but realise i have no one to be with me.. i cannot even walk, that's when i realise even though i have so many friends.. there aint that many i can rely on or confide to when im in time of help..

saw the newspaper article abt Alvin Ng, the channel 8 actor who recently got criticised for his poor acting. the article was smth abt his uncle telling him not to take things too seriously.. i pondered upon this issue for a very long time. he's absolutely right, i cant help but to agree.. how many yrs do we have in our whole life, why do we have to take things so seriously and ended up making ourselves miserable.

i knw all the things that people will tell me when they see me.. but i cant help it but to think negatively.. i do not want to suppress my own feelings. i do not wanna bottle it.

maybe it's EXPECTATIONS. im expecting too much from myself.. then i cannot allow failures or setbacks. it's time to sit down quietly and look back. all the things that have happened, all the friends i have. maybe it's jus me, i do not have the habit of sharing my probs or voicing myself out. i dun wanna look weak and vulnerable. thinking back, so what if i appear strong and optimistic, im still not happy, not contented. im worried abt so MANY things that i need to see a psychiatrist. there are jus certain things i do not wish to reveal here.. u can sae it's CK or what. but im really not.

even at this time, i still tell myself that im fine.. but i guess im not.. but time will heal everything..

Serving the nation

2009-06-15T20:00:00.003+08:00

Singaporean males typically have a few stages in their life. the commonly known primary sch, then secondary, ite/tetiary/jc then NS followed by working or further study.
serving the nation has its pros and cons... we shall take a look.....

pros - u go out less often and save a lot more money, either for studies or for future use.. u make more friends. u have no choice.. u have to see them everyday in the office. u may learn more office skills and human relations - esp when dealing with your superiors.

cons - by going out less often, u become less sociable. daily routine is to go to camp, back home, camp and back home. u spend lesser time with ur closer friends. u become less updated about them. everything seems to change so much, but i guess time will dilute all these. it can get quite depressing at times. maybe that's why, so many pple are getting depressed.

being in the NS, getting sick is often seen as wat we called 'chaokeng' or 'CK' for short. pple care less for each other, cos they think you are jus trying to run away from camp by conveniently going to the polyclinic and ask for MC because it's being paid for by the govt. you shld try not to get excused for everything or pple will aim you, cos that means more work for the others.

i nvr felt like this b4...............
am i getting depressed or am i just thinking too much?
it's such an unusual emotional situation for me now..
the distance between you and ur close frens seem further.
stress hormone pouring into the circulation
do not have the time/technique how to relax or slow down the pace.

i seriously hope this is transient and all will disappear soon..
i really do... :)

ONLY ONE LEFT ON THE SHELF

2009-03-20T18:16:00.006+08:00

hello everybody, im back for some blogging after so long.

im officially doing my national service, about 1/4 there, long way to go.
shall not post too much abt where and what im doing.. those who are close to me enough will knw.

ok, my title sounds suspicious right?
yeah, u're right, only one left on the shelf.. LOL
in JAQLYS, im the only single and available (someone, pls come ride me home~) haha.
okok, they said my expectations is too high, but no chemistry how to be tgt.
anyway, life is average with occasional emotional downturn.
hope depression is not striking me
and i need to LOSE weight.
take care all.

A, B or C???

2008-05-07T03:27:00.003+08:00

A- NUS Sch of Life Sciences

B- NTU Double Degree (BSc in Biomedical Science, B.Med, Chinese Medicine)

C- Give up studying and set up smth small..

Meanwhile, I've already accepted NTU's offer, since i couldnt get into NUS medicine. Im not sad, jus take it as what God has prepare for me.. as for whether do i really wanna give up studying, i will use the 2 yrs in NS to ponder abt it.. hmmmm.

2 yrs NS will tentatively start on Oct 24, but im requesting for early enlistment jus in case i wanna further my study, as sch starts in aug 2010. still waiting for call from MINDEF.

5 yrs double degree, by then im 27. feel damn old.
but i think B.Med (Chinese Med) is more applicable to daily life and i can use the knowledge i have to help those pple ard me rather than having a BSc only..

meanwhile, do take care~ :)

FUCK OFF~

2008-03-26T00:07:00.005+08:00

IM FUCKING PISSED.
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME N NEITHER DO I
IT JUS APPEARS TT I CANT SHARE MUCH OF PERSONAL STUFFS
NABEI~

NO ONE TO SHARE WITH.
CAN ONLY VENT MY ANGER HERE
知我者莫若谁也

IT FELT LIKE MY HEART IS BLEEDING AND I FELT LIKE CRYING.
BUT I CANT
FRENS WHO I THINK ARE NICE ARENT TT NICE ACTUALLY
DISAPPOINTED. DISHEARTENED.
WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HW I FEEL NW. IM ALL ALONE

真是笑死我了

2008-03-13T16:45:00.006+08:00

Dr Quek called regarding the nomination letter that i need him to write for the application of NUS Sch of Meds thru discretionary..

sad to say
1. not strong in CCA or community involvement programme
2. has not talents in music or sports, neither am i a national player

LOL. I was stunned. Dr Quek dropped me this question.

Dr Quek: js, i would like to knw from ur point of view, what makes you a good doctor?
Me: i care abt the people ard me and believe in the wellness of them
Dr Quek: i guess most of them would sae that as well. hmmm.. wat makes u stand out among them?
Me: hmmmm.. ehh... i dunno.
Dr Quek: then u better go think abt it. do u have any evidence tt shows u're strong in leadership or CIP
Me: No leh..
Dr Quek: haha. i will try to write the letter to the best of my capabilities

LOL. think it must have been a strenous process to write me a nomination letter bah. but it's a veri brilliant question. i guess the answer i gave, will be most of what the applicants would sae

SO WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DOCTOR? WHAT MAKES ME STAND OUT AMONG THEM?
can someone help me answer them.. my english is C6 de.. vocab lagi jia lat.. and to a certain extent, i believe pple ard me knws me better than myself.

2ndly, why poly students cant apply thru the traditional way, but discretionary.. for ur info, discretionary only make up to max 10% of tht yr's cohort. why differentiate between JC n poly.. so JC students are more suitable in becoming doctors, while poly students are not? Nonsense!

my aim of doing human meds is cos i cant afford vet science, but i cant possibly tell them that right? they will be laughing their asses off man

was veri worried abt my future (academic wise), went to 莲山双林寺 (temple) to 求签.. got a 上(not too bad lot) 签. it's lot 44. the meaning goes like this
---> even Chiang was appointed a high official by the emperor at the age of 80, so why are you so anxious over ur achievement now. exercise patience and strive hard at the same time. u will sure succeed in the future.
----〉姜太公在八十才被文王丰为高官，你何必又那么着急呢？
Explanation: this lot ask me not to be anxious, jus wait and see first.. in the future sure have a big career de.. there are some details that i cant rmb and cant regurgitate. but it seems like a good lot. and hit right on the nail man. quite accurate.

so ya~ wait and see how lor~ who knws, maybe i cant be a western doctor, but a chinese sinseh~! LOL. but MC invalid de leh, no respect sia.. hmmm.. we shall see how.

n pple~ always rmb!
RESULTS NOT EQUAL TO UR CAREER OR FUTURE, IT'S THE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND PERSEVERANCE TAT DETERMINE WHO YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE. DREAM IT DO IT. U HAVE A DREAM, U STRIVE FOR IT. DUN SAE AND DUN DO THEN MIGHT AS WELL DUN SAE OR DREAM ANYTHING.

i wish everyone all the best in your future endeavours. TAKE CARE~!

Finally

2008-03-01T13:03:00.002+08:00

haha.. has been some time since i last updated my blog. sorri for those who ended up being disappointment due to the lack of update. since im kinda free nowadays, might as well jus blog lor..

im considered unofficially graduated liao.. RESULTS WILL BE OUT ON 13 MARCH (THURS)
LOLx.. good luck to everyone receiveing their results..
so the next concerned issue will be serving the nation.. kinda look forward to which unit i'll be sent to. dog unit? lolx.. hopefully..

i think got a couple of months b4 i got enlisted, everyone ard me like got a job liao(wah liew, sibei stress leh~!) and im still slacking.. but i'll have tonnes of time to work in the future, so why rush and gan chiong for these few months. or am i finding excuses? lolx..

since im finishing my tertiary education liao, it's time to think abt the next stepping stone to my future life. i've thought abt a few

1. vet science - abit impossible liao la, too expensive sia, i where got so rich. unless someone sponsors me for free la..

2. NUS sch of med - as mentioned earlier, 2 poly students got accepted. im nt exceptionally excellent in my academic wise, but i'll just gonna try my luck. u nvr knw what will happen

3. NTU Double degree (BSc, BTCM) - im quite fascinated by how tcm works actually, but thinking abt the 2 yrs in beijing turns me off a little.. so what to do.. im left with not much choices..

others - nus sch of life sciences, pharmacy. n NTU- biological sciences and biological chemistry and chemistry (just putting for the sake of putting, make my $10 application more worthwhile la)

soooooo.. recently had our official last caregrp chalet b4 graduation, not mani pple turned up, kinda disappointed, but it's still alright la.. the closer ones are these few liao lor.. mahjong, games, water bombs, cycling are how we spent our time there. i even whipped up a few dishes, but not to my satisfaction. maybe portion too big, so cant ensure quality control. LOL

hope to stay in contact with all my poly frens although sometimes it's tough, each has their own busy lives liao. hereby, i wish everyone the best and do take care. do ask me out for gathering worx~!

AB37 Gathering.

2007-09-05T00:18:00.000+08:00

I can 100%, guarantee, chop said that I really enjoyed myself todae.

attendance list
- jin shun
- ben
- kim
- shin fen
- shi hui
- michael
- michelle
- piyo
- kai ling
- long
- chaur lee
- eugene
- leong

13 pple were present. considered last gathering b4 sip esp Michael and Long going overseas sip.. i wish them all the best. and hope they take good care of themselves over there.

went to eat ma la steamboat as usual.. laughter surrounded us.. then we proceed to TCC for cheesecake n drinks lor.. to sit down n chit chat in a better environment.. lol.. ma la place was so hot n make me cant eat.

hmmmm.. ben rented a car todae.. P plate leh.. a Mitsubishi Lancer at only $50 per dae.. quite cheap liao.. hmmm.. had fun in the car.. lol.. only those who sat in his car will knw lar.. i shall not sae anything here.. thanks ben for the ride n trouble.

I hope to see this kind of gathering soon. cos i m sure everyone enjoyed themselves..

AB37. I LOVE ALL OF YOU~!!!!

pondering abt my future again..

2007-08-25T12:44:00.000+08:00

recently heard abt 2 poly students accepted into the NUS Yong Loo Lin Sch of Medicine.
It was the first time they have accepted poly students.
will it be me after my NS.

seriously, i've always wanted to take up a challenging career and at the same time, able to offer help to the others. being a vet seems tough for me, with the school fees piling up to about $175,000 for 5 yrs and tt excludes the living expenses.

however, Sch of Medicine not veri cheap also.. abt $17,000 per yr.. how would my family be able to support me. yes.. i understand that results are veri impt.. but my family is not financially capable of sending me overseas or to study a premium course in the local universities. but the first issue is will i be even accepted?

somehow it makes me envy those above average or pple from wealthy family. they do not need veri excellent results, jus average.. and they can go overseas to study, with nothing much to worry about. but for me.. so what if i do well. it's veri difficult also..

the irony here is
1. being smart n poor OR
2. being average and wealthy.

it's realli a contradicting situation here. for nw, i shall await for God's decision. he hasnt tell me anything yet. :)

hmmm.. 2 more papers left

2007-08-25T02:11:00.000+08:00

left saprn and bpharm..
then attachment coming soon liao..
5 mths quite long also..
dunno will be veri tired or not.. lol..
jia you everybody

Jus as I expected.

2007-08-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hohoho.. Jus as i expected. I failed~!

1 immediate failure - fail to give way to right of way. i wanna go liao then car dash out. jia lat.. dead

26 demerit points.
- fail to confirm safety during both parking..
- but instructor din tell me must check leh.. lol.. nvr mind.. learn from mistakes..
- fail to check blindspot
- change lane abruptly

i kena a malay tester, ASIS BIN WASAIL. he's quite a nice person.. thank you sir. he gave me alot of encouragements.

2nd attempt is on end 0f oct. 2 more months.. sian sian sian..

it's ok.. life is full of ups n downs then will be balanced mah.. take it easy man..

i will jia you for the next attempt de..

:)

TO BEN N KIM:
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE EFFORT TO COME DOWN AND SUPPORT ME AND AT THE SAME TIME SORRY TT I DISAPPOINTED BOTH OF YOU.
AS FOR CHANGING INSTRUCTOR, I THINK NOT NECESSARY BAH. I KNOW YOU BOTH MEAN WELL BUT HE'S NOT TT BAD ALSO LAR.

人算不如天算

2007-08-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

ben told me something meaningful todae whereby it has been ages since i heard of it..

By Not Being Confident, I've Alrready Lost Half The Battle.

thanks ben. finally u said something useful.. lolx.

It's Coming.. Real Soon.. I will Jia you de.. cos i've been pestered by it for so long...

I am so sicccckkkk..

2007-08-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

2 days back had a sore throat..
inflamed.. chest tightness.. went to see a doctor..
doc sae i need salbutamol inhaler.. sian..
spent $32..
doc still chatted alot with me.. cos i have tachycardia and BP was abit high.
recovering le.. i shld have went to the doc earlier..

waited 5 mths for my driving test. and it's gonna arrive in a couple of weeks time
sian.. i still think my driving not veri good but i will do my veri best.
have been receiving alot of encouragements from frens.. thank u all..
i think i have been taking it TOOO seriously.. im stressin myself too much
i will try to be positive abt failure bah..

went driving todae.. circuit.. was quite contented actualli but stil have to buck up a little..
clutch control still not good.. maybe due to my big FOOT. always kena stuck
sian.. lol..
spend quite alot on driving liao.. dun wish to drag on..
GOD, Guan Yin Ma, please bless/boh-pi me..
thanks~

lesson learnt~
- take failure positively and life would be much brighter.

haix.. sian..

2007-08-02T14:29:00.000+08:00

my instructor changed a new car.. i m SOOOO not used to it..
from nissan sunny to new de toyota vios.. although wont jerk so much..
but i jus couldnt get use to it..
i mount kerb.. i strike pole down.. like nobody's business.. haix..
i m dead..
sure fail the 1st time de..
waste money..
i m so guilty..
sucks to the core..
booooo~!

环境总是在变,人也不例外

2007-07-31T19:29:00.000+08:00

ok. i would call this person X?
jus wanna blog abt this person X realli change alot lor..
quite disappointed actualli hw much a person can change within time.
it's not tt i noticed it recently but quite some time alreadi.
just that i do not wish to sae..
haix.. it's difficult to expect pple to change back also la..
although i may not be a perfect person but at least i think i maintain as a person i was like.
this time, it's a negative change.. hmmm..
quite sad actualli..

在 Mount Pleasant North 的一天

2007-07-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

i would sae it was an enriching and fruitful dae for both shirleen and
i can definitely sae so.
let me intro the pple there first.

sam - receptionist
ron(i think so), jennifer - vet technicians
gloria chay - veterinarian

we started the dae by watching how they flush the drainage of a poor little dog who got into a big fight with 2 huskies. her wounds look serious but i think more or less recovering.

i started by washing up the cages, washing the bedding towels and drapes.

some of the things that we got to do
1. SC/IV injection
2. handling/restraint
3. castration
4. hang the drapes and towels
5. see the anaesthesia procedure
6. how they spay a female cat
7. surgical scrubbing (hands, and surgical site)

but a small little parrot passed away.
and a poor old dog has chronic renal failure. it looks veri ill to me.
it even become epileptic for abt 30 secs b4 i went off. the dog looks restless and not veri positive to me.. but owner doesnt wan her to be put down. it's realli a tough choice arh.

BUT~!
the great moment is when u see them got discharged..
Max, a hypercalcaemic male dog was discharged n i m so glad tt i had the honour to pass the dog back to the owner..

i believe the ultimate goal of the owners is to hope a bring a radiant and healthy dog out. and this is usually the ending that we all hope for.. but in reality, it somehow doesnt always happen tt way.. :)

recently..

2007-07-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

life has been really busy this yr. Sem 1 of my 3rd yr.. hmmmm..
a blink of eye, soon will be my attachment and graduation is not far le..
NS then hopefully get a degree.. hmmm.. sch has been busy for me..

my team, Benjamin has passed his TP on his 1st attempt..
envy sia.. first attempt leh.. wonder can i do it or not..
my instructor sae i will fail.. hopefully i can prove him wrong bah
haha.. ben u can drive as a QUALIFIED driver liao.. but i cant.. i dun have tt paper..

Life has been quite empty seriously.. things happen on a weekly basis, repeating the same old things as the day goes by.. lacking someone to love.. lacking to be loved too.. hmmm..

feel like going ard singapore to eat good food

2007-03-22T15:19:00.000+08:00

i have always wanted to go ard singapore to try out new dishes or those popular dishes/stalls featured in magazines or television programmes.. but got no one to pei me de leh.. cos my closer frens are always hard on cash.. hmmm.. of course lar, i have no rights to interfere in how they spend their money mah.. so i jus sae sae only lor..

hmmm.. realli long time nvr go out with JAQLS for a good meal le.. realli long time ago.. what i can rmb is that we went dim sum buffet at a hotel which was like decades ago.. now i realli hope to revive this tradition to have meals together for us to catch up with each other also.. alot of things have been happening, n one after the other.. so irritating n depressing.. but i jus tell myself not to involve can liao lor.. realli long time nvr sit down with them at fine restaurants to eat together le.. even if have, also those hawker lar, fast food lar or jus sit down at void deck.. wanna go kbox or these also difficult.. so JAQLS.. save up arh.. we going to eat good food soon.. so i'll have to inform u all in advance so we can have nice food together.. DEAL

无话可说

2007-03-19T13:18:00.000+08:00

SPEECHLESS, EVERYTHING'S JUS SO FUCKED UP
WAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?????

my driving instructor

2007-03-18T20:28:00.000+08:00

firstly, i would like to sae tt i m not angry with him or anything, jus find him a veri interesting person, seriously..

1. sometimes he will ask me to stop by the side of coffeeshop so he can have his toilet break due to his HIGH TIDE

2. pass things to his son

3. ask me to book my test date while having lesson

4. suddenly go pay road tax

5. listen to old school songs

6. pluck his moustache, haha.. interesting right?

benjamin(poly fren) had his driving lesson with him this fridae, n as usual, my instructor mr lim, likes to discuss abt me with him during lessons.. i jus wonder why leh..funni hor..

mr lim: tt jin shun arh, got weird temper leh.. i was late for 10 mins and his face black like dunno what?

my explanation : no wonder he keep apologising to me la, i was wondering why he was so polite tt dae. i was waiting under the hot sun mah, i m not angry.. facing the hot sun of course my face will twitch n twist a little mah.. angry for what.. i m veri patient de hor..

mr lim: tt jin shun, cannot sae him de.. sae more abit arh, his face turned black n dun wanna talk liao..

my explanation: of course lar, u imagine ur engine keep stalling, of course face will turn black mah, n he didnt realli scold me alot during lessons mah.. nth to tok bcos he didnt tok to me also mah, then tok what? tok to myself meh?

mr lim: jin shun is quite humble.. hahahahahaha

my explanation : he said tt i will pass my practical test at my first attempt n i replied tt i wasnt confident la.. of course lar.. i was only at my 4th driving lesson, do u think u will be confident by tt particular period of time?

haha.. i jus cant stop thinking abt it.. shld i burst into laughter or what.. n stupid ben even agreed with him tt i m this kinda person.. mr lim wanted someone to assure him mah, n ben said ya.. idiot.. hahaha.. dun even wanna help me clarify.. lolx.. nvr mind la.. try to smile more when i m driving lor.. ltr he think i siao.. for nth smile for what.. lolx~!

jus a sudden thought

2007-03-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

a bbq session with my friends on tuesdae allowed me to realise tt one of my frens, ah huat~!, was abit schizophrenic.. i was wondering what has made him become like this..

a few days ltr, i went to talk to him, we agreed to have a heart to heart session. so i was asking him, why didnt he wanna share his problems with his close frens or even me, since the 2 of us are quite close. n he said something tt realli touches my heart, realli deep down. i was taken back, cos he's the first one who's able to sae all these which i have been thinking of, thru out the yearss.. he told me

'jin shun, we are all jokers.. deep down at a little corner of our heart, it is dark n filled with spider webs and dust. these webs n dust actualli symbolise our problems, our unhappiness or unwillingness. frens ard us nvr notice this little dark corner of urs, even if they do, they do not realli care so much, as they think those will be cleared soon'

clear enough, it was what i m feeling. even when we feel down, we dun feel like sharing, we wan the pple ard us to feel happy, and not adding on to their worries. even when we tell them our problems, they do not realli care, as they think we will recover from it very soon or even tt we are kidding.. i think tt's realli true.. i've lost my laughter in sch, in life and everything.. weights are loading in rather than unloading from the stressful mind of mine. i've tried to remove them but i failed. i m wondering why. it must be the years of bottling myself up tt causes this. maybe i will explode 1 dae, veri soon, i wonder.

maybe guys do have PMS also bah.. i m not sure.. but sometimes, when i m quiet or alone, i will think.. think deeply.. looking at the dark corner of my heart, trying to solve or remove them but it always tends to accumulate even b4 i have the time to remove them.. frens asked me why didnt i share my problems, maybe i dun see a need to it bah.. issit? i also not sure.. maybe it's the habit tt has be formed unconsciously thru out the yrs bah.. anyway, i m fine.. jus hope to be the cheerful me back again.. i wanna find the real side of me.. please.. i m in search of it now.. n i think i will find it real soon.. take care all~

my driving lessons

2007-03-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

Monday:
had my first driving lesson with michelle's granduncle, Mr Lim. when in the car, he started explaining all the different parts of the car n the function of it.. well, i alreadi knw it b4 hand n he even see it thru.. he was asking did i drive b4 n i said i did.. lolx.. smart arh.. from 1 look he knws i m familiar with the car..

n then it was my turn sitting on the driver's seat.. adjusted the position of the seat n rear view mirror.. i started to go off.. lolx.. quite interesting lar.. but sometimes incoordination abit bad arh.. he says i m not bad.. or was it jus an encouragement for me? lolx.. drove ard toa payoh.. round n round.. engaged till gear 3 n changing of lanes.. lolx..

Thursdae:
my 2nd driving lesson. 10 mins late.. but he still end the lesson on time.. who to blame.. myself lor.. i was extremely tired, back from chalet so maybe i cant concentrate bah.. i didnt manage to drive smoothly todae.. car keep stalling.. todae drove from tpy to ubi n back.. scary lar.. esp at ubi lar.. damn lots of car.. he even ask me to park for his toilet break.. LOL.. funni guy leh.. engaged till gear 4, u-turn was scary.. left turn, right turn.. all these lor.. hmmm.. he thinks i m an expert n teach me so fast sia.. i m not lor.. i nervous like siao leh.. lolx.. overall not veri satisfied.. keep stalling till i veri frustrated.. lolx.. when back at tpy, the comments he gave me is
1. dun grab the steering wheel so hard (cos i nervous mah esp when he's loud)
2. no other comments liao.. u r good enough~

LOL.. dunno lar.. see hw lor.. third lesson on mondae.. n final theory test on Tuesdae.. hope i pass sia.. then i can book for my practical test liao.. realli hope everything can 1 time pass.. n get my car soon.. HOPEFULLY

ART FEST

2007-01-12T19:41:00.000+08:00

wed n thurs were art fests.. i was asked to sing as a means of performance..
i sang chong lai, can u feel the love tonight and duet with my team benjamin, ni na me ai ta..
hmmm.. first dae was realli damn nervous, mdm huang yan n ms vanne came, that add more to my anxiety lar.. my limbs were not obedient, keep trembling, even my voice shiver too.. haha.. but ok lar... still not so bad.. strangers even walked to me and said i was good.. hmmm.. it's quite a surprise for me ya..

thurs shah asked me to sing again.. only sang 'can u feel the love tonight'.. not tt nervous anymore le.. but i sang faster than the music cos i cant hear, tt's why unable to follow..

haha.. shah think ben sing nicer than me.. haha.. maybe.. i not sure.. but i m sure ben can sing well too.. as for comparison, i shall put it aside then.. anyway, it was again quite a challenge for me definitely for me to sing in front of the crowd..

feeling extremely tired these few days n i nvr did any revision lar.. think i m too slack liao.. i think it's time i shld buck up a little.. this term will end soon.. veri soon..

during thurs had mbio lab.. ms vanne was telling us how ridiculous indians are.. for ur info, ms vanne is an indian too.. as in those actions that's shown on tv are actualli what they do in real life.. she was telling us how her chinese frens laughed when they were watching indian drama. but ms vanne nvr felt surprised, bcos she said it was what her mum does everidae.. damn funni.. was talking abt racial issue with ms vanne.. she's damn cute.. realli.. n thank her for coming to see me perform.. she told mdm huang yan.. and in the end mr paul cheung knew abt it also..

anyway.. thanks for the pple who came n encouraged me.. thanks.. pple like hanqun, jacinth, shawn, cornie, lay har, ruth.. i appreciated it veri much.. thanks~!!

result is out

2007-01-05T09:41:00.000+08:00

harlowx everyone.
i m back updating my blog..
first dae of sch at 3rd jan, got back my results liao.. hmmm.. shld i be contented?
i think i shld lar but the results wasnt what i expected though, take a look here;
MCT ---> 43.5/60 B
ACM ---> 44/50 A
AHDIS ---> 44.5/50 A
MBIO ---> 43/50 A
hmmm.. i knw to others it may seem damn excellent liao but it doesnt match with the effort i have put in.. maybe i m too slack b4 the term test.. lolx.. nvr mind lar.. will jia you for this term.. i seriously dun wan my GPA to be affected.. can only go up cannot go down..

pple might think why i wan such good results for, it is because i realli hope to be a vet.. and i do need to study overseas at australia, which will cost me a bomb, 240,000 aust dollars for 6 yrs of education.. this is merely the sch fees.. so i hope if possible, i will apply for a scholarship which needs a good GPA mah..

ok.. enough of results liao..
went countdown at 31 dec 06. the fireworks was awesome, simply splendid.. haha.. marina square was flooded with human being sia.. then after the 10 mins of fireworks, we went off liao lor.. followed the crowd n dunno y walk until bugis mrt station sia.. not tt squeezy.. had quite a pleasant trip and went to lor 5 to have supper.. of course~! i didnt eat lar.. i m on diet leh.. u think i lost 10++ kg so easy meh? nearly killed me lor.. but i will persevere de~! everyone pls support me..

sch starts liao.. so what else? jinshun.. dun slack too much le and jiayou for the remaining of this sem.. i think most probably, exams will commence at the mid or near end of feb bah.. so i will need constant revision.. cos i think exams not tt easi bah~!

anyway.. take care everyone~! rmb to ask me out during the hols arh.. waiting for u~!!!

what a busy dae

2006-12-28T03:04:00.000+08:00

woke up at 9am then prepare to go to sch for ACM meeting at 11.. ok.. but everyone was late.. i waited from 11-11.35am.. nah.. it's ok lar.. i dun blame anyone.. when we met, we went to level 8, sat down n tried to be serious abt the project.. ok, things nvr go the way we wanted it to be.. discussed for less than 20 mins.. n off we go.. actualli i planned the meeting to be from 11-3 de.. but since they sae can do it at home.. then i shall not insist then..

went to art fest audition at 12noon at 5-6-12 lor.. alot of pple was there. i sang 'A Whole New World', tt Aladdin song.. dunno why, but felt damn nervous although it wasnt a competition.. then ben n i sang 'Ai De Jiu Shi Ni' by Wang Lee Hom.. Chi long sang 'U Raise Me Up' and it impressed everyone there.. ya.. he sang pretty well todae.. salute to him~! haha.. so the final decision
1. Ben, Long and me will sing solo
2. Ben n me will then sing duet (hopefully shaun n chaur lee wanna join)

saw this yr 1 applied science guy.. his name is Leslie, i think everyone who has heard of his voice would sae tt he has a heavenly vocal.. he deliver the songs so smoothly and sometimes with a punch to it to emphasize the emotions.. well done.. heard he din even get thru the auditions of talent quest.. i m wondering what's wrong?? haha.. anyway.. jia you bah
but i scare leh.. solo lor.. dun think i can manage leh.. damn scared.. nvr sing solo b4 lor.. haha.. but nvr mind lar.. there's always the first time for everything..

went to bishan to meet hua lor.. had tom yam lunch with her.. then went to arcade.. oh my.. my DJ skills deterioriated like siao lar.. keep failing n failing(hua, sorri to waste ur $$ arh).. haha.. then i play marvel vs capcom and defeated the final stage lar, haix.. nth surprising lar.. hehe..

went shopping at J8, wat else, oh ya.. then sit ard talk talk talk.. thn suddenly felt like having crystal jade de mango pudding lor.. so went to the basement there lor.. then we really did go in and eat.. hua ordered a char siew n chicken rice set.. i ordered dumpling noodle, prawn paste wings to share with hua and a mango pudding for myself.. spent about $27 in total.. not veri ex though.. haha.. but the food not tt nice except my all times favourite, the MANGO PUDDING~!

went to raffles place, met up with my pri sch fren, he said he got something good to introduce me to work as.. oh.. it's network marketing, heard abt it damn long ago lar.. nth much lar.. all i need to do is to look for pple to invest in their company so i get sort of commission.. shld i join? i dun think i have the time lar.. not too sure.. will think abt it..

hua then came to my house lor.. used the com n chit chat in the irc again.. pranked on pple again.. then got 1 damn disgusting x-dresser clicked on hua n wanted to chat.. so ok lor.. then blah blah blah.. this guy damn er xin lar.. cant stand him.. masturbate when talk on the phone, keep moaning like his father is dead or something.. damn bloody asshole, pissed me off man..

6 more days and sch reopens.. and i haven even touch my MCT lab report or contamination essay.. i slack too much le.. really have to buck up and run further.. i dun wanna get bad grades.. i realli need all these for my further studies.. i believe that EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION IS NOT EQUAL TO INCOME but sometimes in this realistic society of todae, it is somehw needed.. pple dun look at ur face n determine hw hardworking u r.. they look at ur cert.. n this serves as a guideline whether r u worth the money they are paying u or not.. and i realli hope to be a vet.. realli hope to be.. but i dunno whether will this be a wishful thinking of my part or it's a goal tt i will work towards.. let's put it aside for now and do the best i can.. let's get charged and run towards the finishing line bah.. :)

sudden urge to blog..

2006-12-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

it's 26th Dec 2006, 1 dae jus after Christmas.. So what has Christmas been for me this yr?

actually nth much also, went to have dinner with JAQLS, bernard, ting, ying, and mother lor.. went to eat tze char at toa payoh lor 8, 'Crab King'.. their crabs realli damn expensive, actualli wanna order and eat de.. but one crab alone cost about 40-50 for a medium and 70-80 for a large.. hey.. crab king sia.. the price also veri king.. haha..

after that went to mother de house, exchange gifts, watch tv, and had a can of heineken.. after that as it was abt 10 plus liao, we headed down to ber's house lor at punggol.. nth much, drank vodka with coke, ate chips, watch tv and play com..

the worst thing happened when i wanna go home lor.. damn bloody suay lar~! haha.. we were at this LRT station called Cove, then when i wanna tap my card, found out tt i did not have sufficient value lor then no small change to buy a card lar.. so my fren suggested that i followed her together thru the machine lar.. this Cove station got no control station de..

Guess what~!!!!! when we were at the punggol mrt station, we saw this customer service officer in green, and we din expect he was waiting for us lar.. we still joked ard tt he's there to catch us..
then he suddenly came to tok to us, wan us to tell him honestly did anyone of us not tap our card.. so i admitted lor.. haha.. but he was quite nice lar..
he took me down to the control station, took down my particulars.. he said the fare from cove to toa payoh is $4 plus but since it's Xmas he will charge me $2.90.. so i gave him money to buy lor.. he's quite ok lar.. he handed the card to me with both hands n reminded me to collect my $1 deposit after tt.. haha.. damn suay.. heart was pounding.. and skipping a few beats at the same time sia.. haha..

after tt, reached home.. bathe.. and sleep sleep sleep lor.. then at night, my neighbour gave me a pencil case, Converse de hor as my Xmas gift, quite nice lar. just nice for me to use anyway.. Thanks all who had wished me a Merry Xmas, indeed, Xmas this yr was Merry.. lolz..